I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
