If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
