Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
