so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
