Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this will be a night to untag.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
