i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
