either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
