I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
