and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
