you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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