I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
