How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize