so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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