remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
