She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
