I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
