i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
