So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
