I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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