I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Randomize
