Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
