You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
