Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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