apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
