the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
