Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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