worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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