Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
