I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
