I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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