So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
