There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
