Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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