If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
