Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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