I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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