question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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