Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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