Plan B is the new Plan A
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
