the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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