Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
