I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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