dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
