I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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