Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
