i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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