What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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