Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
