I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
