You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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