I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize