she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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