Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
