Well apparently he's into motor boating.
look no pants
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize