i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I looked at my own cervix.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Randomize