in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
where are my eyebrows?
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