A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
