Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
don't judge my taste in strippers
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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